Excited Fear

For weeks now I have known that I needed to write my first blog entry. What have I done? Procrastinated. I have gone back and forth about what this first blog should be about. I know there are people out there who are expecting an eloquent, well-put-together, and motivating entry...and well, I just can't promise that. What I can promise all of you is that I will always be myself. I will do my best to share the exciting journey that I am on for the next 11 months. So here I am, finally sitting down to update the Miss K fans about my extraordinary adventure thus far.

Often I get asked the question, "What went through your mind when you won?" Honestly, I can't remember. I do know I spent the first 5 minutes after the crowning just laughing. All I could think was, "Are they kidding? They picked me!?" The next day, I couldn't stop smiling. If I was driving down the road or walking down the side walk I would suddenly remember that I was Miss Kansas and start smiling to myself. I began to worry that people who walked by me would think I was insane. Who randomly smiles to themselves? About a week later, I realized that I had no idea what I had gotten myself into. Facebook updates, phone calls, speeches, sponsors, meetings, luncheons, and 5 hour drives. My excitement turned into fear.

Even though it has been over a month, the "excited fear" is what keeps me going. It's the time I get to spend with at-risk young adults, or the little girls that want to take their picture with me that reminds me every day why I love my job. The fear comes when I think I am going to forget someone's name, or to send a Thank You, or offend someone with my sarcastic sense of humor. But living solely in that fear will only keep me from being who I truly am--Miss Kansas.

What I have learned most in this last month is the importance of being yourself, but being open to change. This year I know I will encounter challenges that will require me to be flexible, understanding, and patient. I am so excited to see where this year takes me. A year from now I want to be able to say that I had a year of no regrets. I am honored and so blessed to have this opportunity, and cannot wait to represent this wonderful state at the Miss America pageant.

Get ready!

Miss Kansas 2012 Blog